This is 40! Lessons in Life I’ve Learned Thus Far

I recently turned 40 years old, and was asked by a friend how I felt and what has life taught me thus far. First of all, I feel absolutely amazing and just happy to be here. I’ve never been one to feel anxiety or sadness about aging, but after beating cancer, surviving many other things I am beyond grateful to be here in the land of the living. There are entirely too many that don’t even get to see 40.

Life up to this point has taught me a number of things, but if I had to narrow down some big ones it would be these 7 lessons:

It Is What It Is, Til It Ain’t!

I don’t care what it is in your life you’re facing, it’s all temporary! The job, the relationship, your health, your weight, your finances, your edges, your thoughts and/or opinions. They’re all subject to change at a moment’s notice. And that’s ok. Enjoy things for what they are in that moment, and if and when they change, keep it moving.

Pivot or Perish.

You have to be flexible because things in life inevitably change. Sometimes you have to pivot, and not doing so can be detrimental. The pivot isn’t always permanent, but often times necessary. I’d rather pivot three times and learn along the way than stand still and be stuck in the same spot without additional experience and wisdom.

Control What You Can Control, Surrender the Rest.

People make plans and God laughs. And I’ve been the butt of His jokes one time too many to learn that I’m not in control of most things. I learned this lesson best during my Breast Cancer journey. I can control my thoughts, my energy, who I allow in my space, the food I eat, etc. Those things are in my control, but I couldn’t control things that would HAPPEN to me. That’s where I surrendered and kept my focus on things that I could control.

It’s a Blessing to be a Blessing

I have been blessed a million times over in this life. But a common thread is that people who have been conduits of blessings (because they all come from Sky Daddy) they have all mentioned how I had blessed them at some point in life. You will always get what you give ten fold. Continue to be a blessing to others and watch how it comes back to you.

Community Will Carry You Far

You shouldn’t do life alone. Find your people and your tribe. Let them love up on you, support you and show up for you. Closed mouths don’t get fed. Tell people when you need them and how you need them. And do what you can to show up for others.

You can’t add days to your life, but you can add life to your days.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, point blank period. And while we may not know the day or the hour or the circumstance, we can’t add days to our life. But what we can do is add life to our days. Truly enjoy moments and people and make memories. It might be all you have.

Clear the bar

This was recently added as it was told to me by my boss. Often times we (especially Black women) feel that we need to go above and beyond and sometimes the bar isn’t set as high as you think it is. We overthink things and try to be perfect. Sometimes you just have to clear the bar. Think like the high jump event in track and field. You only have to clear the bar by the smallest margin. SOMETIMES just enough is more than enough.

Here is to the next decade of life and all the beautiful life lessons it will bring.